It's late and I'm tired.
I'm a bit low on dosh and despite having worked all the hours my bank care job can offer, plus other bits and pieces of work, payday is quite some time off and the bastard car keeps springing problems that need money splashed on them.
I could do with selling some more of my illustration work but sales are slower than I'd like at the moment.
I've spent quite a while this evening trying to figure out how to have more of an online presence - or at least a more appealing one, and how to extend my reach in order to get my work in front of more people and I'm feeling a little baffled, a little stuck, and a little overwhelmed.
I'm not drawing often enough.
I think I should resolve to draw more often. It really should be a daily thing as much as possible.
It would help me improve and help with my peace of mind I think. Help me focus. Help me remember that that is the part of illustrating I actually like.
I want to draw something beautiful rather than purposeful.
This I shall endeavor to do.
Just the other day, my partner, Jess, and I quit our jobs, and with her son, upped sticks and moved two hours away to a new home in a new city so she can continue her education up here.
It's all been a bit scary: Not just for the usual reasons that moving house can be a tad scary, but as we are both now scrabbling to find jobs before our savings run out!
I've been trying to work out exactly what that means for me.
So; we're upping sticks to Leeds this weekend. I'm currently having a service station break on my way up there for a job interview. It's all change, please... All change.
Theres packing to to do and addresses to move and bills to sort out and jobs to acquire and I'm currently in the middle of a commission so it's all hectic.
I'm hoping, in the new place, to be able to develop my skills some more and get my products into more places and to pick up some more commissions. I'm excited by this!
But for now, wish me luck in this interview!
It's weird to think about it, but when I'm working on a portrait of someone, I become very familiar with all the details of a complete stranger's face and exactly how they fit together.
It makes me really appreciate how unique we all are, and how all faces have so many bits of beauty and interest that make them up.
I really urge everyone to try drawing someone else's face (or even your own) at least once.
Regardless of how happy you are with the outcome of the drawing, I think it's hard to spend that much time contemplating the construction, character, texture, and nuances of a face and not come away with a deeper appreciation of faces, and especially of that particular one.
Let me know, in the comments, if you try this, and whether you find something similar happens with you or not.
I keep failing to write blog posts because I feel I don't have time to do them justice, but I keep forgetting they don't have to be deep and involved. So here's a short one.
I just read about a GoFundMe page being set up and raising £7,000 for a woman who recently died.
I have a request.
Take a moment to imagine I've just died. If any of you feel like you might be moved to set up a GoFundMe or similar for me when I'm dead, could you do it now while I'm alive instead please? I promise you, I'll appreciate it much more.
..I'm alive right now, y'know.
You know how you go to the internet to look up one little fact about margarine, and then three hours later you're deep in the bowels of Wikipedia, learning all about the childhood of the leader of a peasant revolt in 7th century China and wondering how on Earth you got here? Well I did something like that and it was a fascinating journey (to me anyway), but more importantly, I remember how I got there so I thought I'd share it.
I've learnt a lot about tunnels and how they're made, the London Underground, mining, the largest machines on Earth, and a small town in America that is pretty much uninhabitable due to a fire that has burnt for decades and may continue to burn for centuries (and yet 10 people choose to live there!)!
If you're at all interested, here's what I found out!
Today, I saw a petition to stop an influential "pick-up-artist" who wrote in favour of legalising rape (and also wrote a guide to what makes a good rape scene that he can get off to in movies) from holding meetups with his followers.
I saw a video of a "prank" where someone swapped the labels on vegetarian and non-vegetarian food at a buffet restaurant as example of how to "entertain yourself... at the expense of vegetarians", and the abysmal comments that followed including telling people that objected that they just needed to "get fucked" to lighten up.
And I read about the fuss and derision that came about because Susan Sarandon dared to show a bit of cleavage, at the age of 69, at an awards ceremony in which she had a nomination. It made me so sad to think of her getting all excited as she fancied up for a happy event celebrating her talent, just to be publicly lambasted for her appearance.
There's a lot of good beautiful stuff out there but sometimes, the world makes me so sad and angry.
AND BE BETTER PEOPLE!!!
EDIT: After writing this, I decided I wanted to try to do something good so I'm donating £1 from each sale of my Mother's Day cards to Women's Aid.