Curtis Allen

When you book me for your wedding, you’re not just booking someone to press play on a Spotify playlist and this is presumably one of the reasons you’ve booked me. You want the night to be as unique, individual, and special as you are. As an alternative music DJ, I don’t have a default or standard setlist I trot out at every wedding I do; each one is completely bespoke. My job is to shape the night so it feels like yours. That’s where the wedding DJ consultation comes in. Whether you opt to do this in-person or via a video call, this post is just to give you an idea of the purpose of it and what sort of things I might ask during it, so that you can consider these things ahead of time.

The meeting has two main purposes:

1. Logistics – so we all know what’s happening, when, and how.
2. Music – so I can get a feel for your tastes, your guests, and the kind of night you want.

Think of it as less of an interview and more of a chat about your day, your music, and your plans. I’ll bring the questions; you just bring yourselves.

We can either meet up in-person (I usually do these at The Village in Moseley, or sometimes The Hedgehog in Lichfield), or if it suits you better, we can do a video call (I usually use Google Meetings and send you a calendar link for the meeting).

Obviously, how long it takes depends on how much there is to talk through, but expect it to take about an hour.

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Why Have a Wedding DJ Consultation?

The wedding DJ consultation gives us the chance to:

• Nail down the practical details (arrival times, parking, curfews, mic use).
• Talk through the flow of music across the night.
• Decide how flexible you want me to be with requests and adapting to the crowd.
• Make sure your must-plays and hard-nos are crystal clear.

In short: it’s how we get on the same page, so you can relax knowing the party is sorted.

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Wedding DJ Consultation: Logistics (aka “the sensible stuff”)

I normally prefer to do the consultation closer to the date — details are firmer then, and everything stays fresher in my memory. But if you’re one of those super-organised couples who have everything nailed down a year out and want to get this job ticked off too, I’m happy to meet sooner.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

• Names & details – your names, nicknames, and how you’d like to be introduced.
• Address, date & timings – confirming when and where, what time I arrive, music start/finish times.
• Curfew –
  • If strict: I’ll make sure not to go a minute over (I don’t want to put the venue in breach of their music licence).
  • If relaxed: I know I can start a track and let it play out if it hits curfew mid-song, or even squeeze in a “one more” if the dancefloor wants one.
• Parking & access – where I can park, whether there’s a charge, how close I can get to unload, whether my car can stay, and if there are stairs to navigate.
• Venue rules – any sound limiters, or “no smoke machine”-type rules I should know.
• Setup timing – making sure I’m not trundling speakers in during your speeches.
  
• Other suppliers – if there are live bands or musicians, we’ll talk about how we share the space and hand over smoothly, make sure I’m not planning on setting up while they’re due to be performing in the same space, and if I need to consider their setlist with what I’m playing.
• Announcements/MC role – do you want me to introduce the first dance, cake cutting, taxis at the end or do you have a member of your bridal/groom party who’s handling that?
• Microphone use – In some families, there’s an Uncle Bob who always does his song at family gatherings.
  Or maybe your dad will want to tell a cute story about you from when you were a kid.
  I’d hate to turn them away if these would be lovely family memories for you… but I’d hate to let them do it if this is the sort of thing that would horrify you!
  Some couples love spontaneous toasts, others can’t think of anything worse.
  
• Your first dance – Are you having one at all, or not? If so, what song and at what time? Is it to be the first song I play, or are we having some music beforehand? Do you want to do the whole song on your own as a couple, or can you think of nothing worse than having dozens of people watch you dance for four-and-a-half minutes, and so want me to encourage people to join you at some point?

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Wedding DJ Consultation: Music (aka “the fun stuff”)

By the time we chat, I’ll usually have your music form. That gives me a sense of your taste, but not always your guests’. The consultation is where we fill in the gaps. Now, if you’ve booked me for the largely alt-leaning side of things, unless you’re some of those very lucky people where all your friends and family are into the same music, we know that some of your guests just aren’t going to be and the first hint of a breakdown or screamed vocal will have them running from the room with their fingers in their ears!

Now; some couples are absolutely fine with this. “It’s our wedding, our day, our music, and our guests can put up with it for five hours!” is an absolutely valid stance to take, so if you’re telling me that’s how it is and we’re doing alt all night, that’s fine. Just be prepared for the fact it may not be to everyone’s tastes, they will tell me so throughout the night, and will likely tell you so too.

Conversely, “It’s our wedding but we know our tastes aren’t likely to go down well with a majority of our guests and we want everyone to have a nice night, so play to them not to us,” is also a completely valid stance to take.

Chances are, you’re somewhere in between though. So part of the wedding DJ consultation will be taken with me figuring out how you want me to thread the needle on this one.

So, to help me figure out how we’re going about things, I’ll be asking you about:

The shape of the night

• Do you want the oldies earlier (your Motown, soul, 50s rock ‘n’ roll etc) and the heavier tracks later when it’s mainly your hardcore party guests left and they can have a bit of a mosh?
• Should heavier stuff be sprinkled throughout so fans of that sort of stuff aren’t waiting all night to hear something they like?
• If an alt/heavy block bombs and clears the dancefloor, do you want me to push through (because it’s important to you that you get your quota of heavy on your wedding night), or pivot to some stuff I reckon will get people back on the floor?
• Do you prefer me to “flit about genres willy-nilly” (technical term!), or build towards a specific arc?

Arcs & themed moments

Do you have any arcs or moments you want me to hit, such as:

• An emo hour around 9pm?
• A female-fronted only power hour for the last hour?
• An electro-swing-into-metalcore finale?
• An hour of indie about 8pm leading into an hour of pop-punk?
  …and so on.

Requests

• Are we allowing them on the night?
  • Anything goes?
  • Only if they fit the vibe?
  • No requests at all?
• In my experience, at a wedding where I’m largely playing alt tunes, there are some common requests that will come from the contingent of guests who just aren’t feeling that side of things:
  • 90s RnB – often specifically Beyoncé (usually from some of the bride’s friends).
  • “Some 80s stuff like ABBA or Wham” (usually an aunt).
  • Dance/line songs like Saturday Night, Macarena, Candy, Oops Upside Your Head, Cha Cha Slide, 5-6-7-8. (these ones come from anyone!)
  • Sweet Caroline and Mr. Brightside (someone always asks).

How do you want me to handle those?

💡 A reminder: as much as you want to dance, the reality is you’ll be pulled all over the place on your wedding day. Everyone wants a piece of you. That means you may not be on the dancefloor as much as you’d like. So it’s worth thinking about how much to focus purely on your tastes vs. how much to accommodate guests. If I find you’re hardly in the room, do you want me to stick with the music we’ve discussed, or play to the room if they’re after wildly different things?

Must-plays & hard-nos

• Must-plays – songs tied to your story (first kiss, first date, private jokes). Should I wait until you’re in the room to play them (bear in mind that if there’s a number of must-plays and you end up not in the room much, some might end up not getting played), or drop them throughout the night regardless?
• Hard-nos – maybe it’s an artist who’s massively popular… but for some reason their voice just goes right through you! Or maybe it’s a tune you love, but you think is inappropriate for your wedding night. But also, consider songs with emotional baggage; maybe there’s a song you heavily associate with an ex, or a late grandparent’s favourite song or artist that would have the family in tears. These are just as important to flag.

Summer wedding dynamics

At summer weddings especially, the dancefloor can be quiet early as people enjoy the gardens and the couple of days of summer we get here in the UK each year, then suddenly fill in the last hour or two. If we’ve saved all the heavy music for the end, that means your normie late-dancers may hear nothing they connect with before it gets intense. Do you want me to stick to the plan, or adapt to keep the balance?

Special moments

• Parent dances, family anthems, or cultural traditions.
• Last song of the night: do you have one you’d like to end on, or do you want to leave it to me to read the room?
• Any kid-friendly songs early for little ones before bedtime?

Do note: You don’t have to come prepared with a list of every song you want played, and exactly when: that’s my job! My task from this meeting is to get an understanding of yours and your guests’ tastes and then, responsively on the night, select the right tunes at the right time to try to ensure we get the night you want for yourselves and your guests.

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After the Wedding DJ Consultation

Once we’ve talked through logistics and music, I’ll update my notes. From then on, you can relax — the party’s covered, but if anything else does occur to you, my inbox is always open.

Some couples bring me spreadsheets of playlists and suggestions of when in the night to play each part, others just a handful of songs they love and hate and trust the rest to me. Both work.

The point of the wedding DJ consultation is to figure out what matters most to you, and to shape the night around that.

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Final Thought

The consultation isn’t meant to feel like homework — it’s just a casual chat that gives us the chance to make sure your wedding night feels like your wedding night. Bring your ideas, bring your quirks, and we’ll plan a party you’ll actually want to remember.